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Ninja Penguin Strikes Again!
The mass murderer the zookeepers call the "Ninja Penguin" has killed again. Late Sunday night, a scream was heard. The zookeepers raced towards the din and... (More on p. 23.) |
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Human Finger Found in Ear!
"When I woke up, I couldn't hear a thing," says Mr. Webler, a local outfitter. "It wasn't until I went to pick my ear that i realized that someone already had..." (More on p. 17B.) |
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Atomic Stink Bomb Invented !?
Wait.. That's not breaking news... That's breaking wind! Whew! Stop the presses and open the windows! (Less on page 18.) |
